she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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