after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
