never play flip cup with pint glasses
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Couch. On fire.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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