i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
