I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
