Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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