The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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