I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Mom said you looked used
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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