i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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