I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
