In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have tasted many bathrooms
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
