I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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