i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
