Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
