try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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