Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
