Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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