My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
