I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
