I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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