Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
