i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
