Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
