If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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