i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
