theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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