Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
