It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
