Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
