We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
