Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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