Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
