you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
