i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
