this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
