More tranny stories later!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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