my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
