it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
