Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
