Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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