It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
tell me about the fingering
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
