She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
