i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
