It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
