but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
