I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The struggles of a small town man whore
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
