Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
