One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
too bad you live with your parents still
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
