This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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