She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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