Bisexual people are plain selfish.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
