the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
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