No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
