Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
