Your face is a jimmy john
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
