i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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